Swing the Focus
by Chocolatheque
Summary: After a month of dating, it's becoming a game to see who cracks first.
1. beating

_AN: I _could_ get started on my chapter fic that I've been planning for weeks now, OR I could do what I know I actually want to do and just write pointless fluff._

_These are the internal wars I fight everyday. Clearly I'm losing this battle. Send backup immediately._

_This is part one of two._

* * *

By now, it's less a matter of either of them being shy and more a matter of _both _of them being stubborn.

It's been a month (thirty days! thirty entire segments of twenty-four hours!) since they've started dating, and there has still yet to be any 'gesture to seal the deal,' as it were. No zoom-in, a wallet devoid of Yankee dimes, and certainly not a soul on first base. That is to say, Beast Boy and Raven have yet to kiss, and both parties are suffering for it.

On Beast Boy's front, it started as him trying to be patient and respectful of Raven's boundaries. He understood when they both agreed to this arrangement that they aren't exactly the most traditional of couples, and he knew that the nature of Raven's personality and powers would largely set the pace for their progress as far as intimacy goes. That was fine with him. He wasn't in any rush to go anywhere, and for the first few weeks, he was simply stunned to actually be dating _Raven_, of all people. He imagined what his younger self's reaction would be had he been told he'd end up with the moody empath, and he enjoyed a private laugh at the thought.

But that was then, and this is a month later, and he's starting to get anxious now. He's been the one to initiate most of their cuddling, hugs, and affectionate words, and while that's all good and well, he'd _really _like to see Raven step out of her shell and give some solid proof that she's invested in this relationship, rather than just reacting accordingly to his endeavors. After all, why should he have to be the one to instigate everything?

Raven, for all of her emotional intuition, is completely oblivious to his feelings of insecurity. Dating and the tangled mess of emotions that come with it are making it difficult for her to really get decent readings on herself, let alone her significant other, and she's busy focusing on not messing things up, anyway. Complication aside, she truly _is_ enjoying this arrangement. More than she ever thought she would, really. She'll never say it out loud, but Beast Boy is funny and cute, and she's mature enough by now to bask in his optimism rather than be repelled by it. But aside from her brief stint with Malchior and a few casual outings with Goth and Jericho, she's never exactly been anyone's girlfriend before, and when she thinks about how badly a certain geomancer screwed Beast Boy over, it makes her want even more desperately to be a decent beau.

That being said, however, she's still not the most outwardly tender or expressive girl—nearly a polar opposite to Starfire's overbearing embraces and endless words of praise—and she's content with waiting to see what Beast Boy tries next and responding as well as she can. So about a month in, when he _still _hasn't pushed his flirtation beyond the borders of friendly touching, she worries. As far as she can tell, she hasn't done anything _wrong _or strange to prevent such an advance, so what's stopping him? She would ask, but frankly, it's an embarrassing topic for her. If _he_—and she knows Beast Boy thrives off attention, both verbal and physical—still hasn't shown an interest in locking lips, then it's either too soon or there's a good reason. So maybe she just needs to wait a little longer. Not that she's in any rush.

Sure, there's been moments where it almost _seemed _like they were going to. Noses bump and breaths intermingle and they both get this weird, glazed look in their eyes, but neither moves forward, so nothing ever happens.

At the end of their second week of being together, for example, Beast Boy declared that they were finally going out on a 'real date.' For all intents and purposes, they had considered themselves 'dating' from the point of their flustered confessions onward, but they'd yet to do anything truly stereotypical of a courting couple. So he dragged Raven out on the moped he'd finally saved up for (despite her offer to teleport them instead) to an obscure bookstore at the edge of the city, and they sat back to back in an aisle with a lengthy novel and a few new issues of _Adolescent Greek Deities_,respectively, until an employee got irritated and told them to either buy the books or leave. Beast Boy paid for the both of them and pulled an unattractive face at the employee as they left. Raven laughed in her own quiet way, telling him "what a charmer" he was as they stepped out of the building and into the cool night air.

Neither seemed to remember joining hands, but both became aware of their intertwined fingers at the same time. They met each others' eyes with mild surprise, as if this were the first time it really hit them how much they had changed in the last several years. Raven still remembers the scrawny bundle of energy that was so rambunctious and eager to please, covering up insurmountable layers of hurt with jokes and a careful smile. Beast Boy still remembers the ghost-like girl who always seemed prepared to disintegrate into the shadows and never come out again, all the while wielding a sharp wit and biting sarcasm that never betrayed the terrible things she thought she was doomed to do.

No one was around, and the stars were clearer there at the edge of the city, the bookstore nothing more than a nightlight across the black parking lot. They faced each other again, smiling in a companionable, if not slightly awkward, silence; it seemed like the perfect moment. Beast Boy strongly considered it—he really did—but Raven's perfume was just a little too potent for his sensitive nose, and he feared that if he got any closer to her, his eyes would water, and crying was basically at the bottom of his list of things that he wanted to have happen on a date. Raven regarded him with a curious, searching expression but did nothing, and that only dissuaded him further. Finally, he dispelled the tension with:

"So wanna see if any ice cream places are open at this hour?"

That was just one of several instances where the moment seemed right, yet one thought or another prevented lip-to-lip contact. Neither moving forward, nothing ever happening.

And the longer nothing happens, the more frustrated both become.

* * *

Everyone drinks alcohol on Raven's 21st birthday except Raven. Robin's cajoled into permitting even the barely underage Beast Boy to partake in the revelry by the logic that he'll be 21 soon, and they were all contained within the safety of their tower anyway. The Titans East were alerted to their activities before they became too unruly, so as to serve as almost a "designated driver" team for Jump City should any villains break loose. It's already nine by the time they crack open the spirits, though, and usually the city is quiet at night.

Raven's accustomed to her team turning her birthday into a bigger deal than it needs to be by now. Robin's still keeping his a secret, Starfire can't quite figure out how hers translates over into a specific earth date so it's more like a birth_week _than a birthday, and Beast Boy's never brought his up for some undetermined reason, which leaves Raven and Cyborg's as days for cake-induced merriment. Raven has a feeling that they go all out so as to celebrate vicariously through her and the metal man, and once she understood that, she stopped being so resistant to their over-the-top shenanigans.

The group watches with unabated fascination as Starfire manages to down her third shot of vodka and still remain completely sober. "When will I begin to feel the 'tipsy'?" she asks with perfect clarity, nursing a freshly poured glass of wine as if it were water. "I fear my multiple stomaches are delaying this process."

"Man, do Tamaranians even drink?" Beast Boy articulates, only stumbling over the word 'Tamaranian' slightly. Unable to get past the strong tastes of wine and beer, he's been sipping at fruity things all evening, and their mild flavor has tricked him into drinking a little more than is probably wise. He's yet to realize this and continues to refill his glass.

"Of course," she confirms between dainty sips. "Drinking is quite the social event on Tamaran. We partake in the fermented juices of zorka berries, which make a flavorful but very powerful drink. If _this,_" she gestures offhandedly to the beverage pile that's collected on the ottoman serving as a table between their couches, "is an earthling's idea of strong alcohol, I suspect it is best that you never sample zorka wine."

Cyborg had a similar problem to Starfire, his robot half hindering the inebriation process a bit, but a few more beers are helping things along quite nicely. "Maybe we should jus' give her a bottle of disinfectant alcohol," he says, laughing a little more than necessary.

Robin's red in the face, but he's trying to be careful about not overshooting his limit. That, however, doesn't stop him from being less discreet than usual about touching Starfire. "Not a good idea…" he mumbles, stroking the small of his girlfriend's back. "Might be indi—indigestible stuff mixed in there…"

"I think you'd be hard pressed to find something that Starfire _couldn't _digest," Raven remarks dryly, but her mouth quirks at the sight of her team. The boys are too drunk to notice that she's taking a bit of amusement from watching them out of their reservations. Getting drunk is pointless to her, maybe, but there's something intimate about this setting. Sitting together and trusting each other enough to voluntarily imbibe things that might cause foolish or uninhibited behavior… This isn't the reckless, rebellious binge of irresponsible children, but an act of bonding for best friends. And she can appreciate that aspect of it.

Plus, Robin is sniffing Starfire's hair and telling her that she smells like kittens, and damn if that isn't at least a little bit funny.

Her amusement drains away pretty quickly once Beast Boy's hand snakes its way around her shoulders, though. The others know that they're dating, but both have been pretty adamant about keeping displays of affection limited to the privacy of closed doors and empty rooms; part of that is motivated by a desire to stay _out _of the tabloids (especially after seeing how out of control it got when Starfire and Robin first started going out), part is to avoid teasing from the guys and doting encouragement from Starfire, and part is simply their preference for inconspicuousness. The fact that he's completely throwing that repression out the window without a second thought puts her on edge.

But really, it's just a side hug. Cyborg gives her those sometimes too, so she doesn't know why it's making her feel so unnerved. She blames it on the bitter scent of alcohol lingering in the air and tries to go back to chuckling at Starfire's fifth—sixth?—swig of vodka finally getting her a little silly, but his damned hand keeps traveling. Nowhere salacious, but it's still distracting. When did he take his gloves off, anyway…?

Starfire hiccups and puts her glass down. "I do not wish to experience a… hanging over? in the morning, so I will stop now."

"Good idea," Raven nods while Cyborg and Robin, on the other hand, chatter back and forth about who's man enough to chug one last beer. The former ends as the predictable victor, but the latter is too dazed to have foreseen such an outcome, and he swears sleepily between his final sips.

"Robin, please, such vulgarities are… unbecoming of you," Starfire insists, hiccuping again and muttering an embarrassed apology in Tamaranian to no one in particular. Alien or not, Raven's in awe of how sober the girl still seems to be.

Robin mumbles nonsense in response, fading fast. Starfire just giggles and hoists him into her arms with ease. "I believe it's time for us to assault the hay. Happiest of birthdays to you, friend Raven, and pleasant dreams." Buzzed and balancing a boy wonder in her grip all the while, Starfire leans over to plant a platonic kiss on Raven's cheek. Their leader utters something that sounds suspiciously like, "Good brthday nihght…" before his girlfriend flies him lazily down the hall.

"Yeeeaaah, I think I'd better shut down for the night too," Cyborg slurs, rubbing his human eye carefully with a large, metal hand. "I'm… …Yeah. Hang on, my train of thought keeps leavin' without me…"

Raven snorts and smiles fondly at the man. "Just go to bed, Cyborg."

After another moment of chasing down imaginary trains, Cyborg shakes his head and manages, "Right. Happy birf—birthday, Rae. Love ya," kissing the top of her head and disappearing down the hall as well.

Alone, Raven again becomes hyperaware of the young man who's almost plastered to her side by now. He's been so quiet, she almost thought that he fell asleep, but a quick glance reveals that he's very much awake. He turns to face her, folding his arms sloppily and glaring like a slighted child.

"What?" she questions, imitating his grouchy posture.

"Don'… don' like other dudes kissing you."

"Starfire's a girl, and Cyborg's practically my sibling. What's the big deal?" She honestly fails to see the problem, but perhaps trying to drill logic into a guy under the influence is a vain endeavor.

"Whatever… Don't like it…" he reiterates more clearly, as if she's the one who's inebriated, and his condescendence irritates her enough to almost break her monotone.

"If you're so jealous, then maybe you should act on these things instead of sulking about them for weeks. That's your issue. Not Starfire's, not Cyborg's, and _not _mine." She feels guilty as soon as the words have left her mouth because it _does_ apply to her in some capacity as well. She should have breached the topic when it first started bothering her. But he's drunk, and it's late, and probably neither of them will remember this conversation in the morning anyway.

…That's her logic, anyway, before he catches her off guard and by the lips.

Her first thought pops into her head against her will ('Finally'), and her second thought is, 'Alright, he tastes like banana daiquiri.' The thought of pushing him off doesn't occur to her at all until he swings a leg over her lap so that he is almost sitting on her, though balancing himself carefully on his knees. His wobbly leverage reminds her that his behavior is most likely being fueled by a mixture of intoxication and drowsiness, which isn't what she wanted at all. She murmurs a few weak protests whenever her mouth is free, but he makes a point of keeping that timeframe sparse.

It's hard to focus. The whole situation feels bizarre and not at all like how she thinks it should, almost like it's happening to someone else and she's just watching it happen, yet at the same time, every action is very much her own. She hates herself for tangling her fingers in his hair like a stupid, lovestruck middle schooler, for enjoying his warmth and closeness, even if his actions are messy.

This is stupid. She's stupid. She could easily phase through the floor or levitate him away long enough for her to leave or any other number of things. Hell, she could probably physically overpower him right now; his hands are shaking even as they clasp around her cheeks, and she's no pushover. She doesn't want this, but she can't bring herself to stop it, either. After all, isn't it what she's been waiting for, even if not quite like this?

They're going to regret it if things progress, she realizes all at once, finding the willpower to finally take him by the shoulders and push him back. "Garfield, stop," she commands, this time with genuine conviction. The fact that she _never _uses his real name sobers him up enough for him to nod sleepily.

"Okay," he sighs, returning to his seat at her side. Raven stays there on the couch with him until he falls asleep, and then she carefully extracts herself to teleport to her room, feeling out of sorts and strangely disappointed. She wants to clarify the details of what just happened, but she knows it should wait until morning.

* * *

_AN: I have this phobia of writing any actual romance beyond pecks on the cheek and affectionate cuddling. Wanted to see if I could get over it._

_Nope, still embarrassing. (I tried dot png)_

_That being said, this is actually a… prequel of sorts to another thing I'm writing. But that one will be… M rated… if all goes according to plan, lmao. Not sure if I should add it onto this one and just bump up the rating, or just make it a separate piece. Hrm…_

_Also, I know nothing about alcohol. Or its strength or taste or anything. So I apologize in advance for any inaccuracies._

_Anyway, hope you were able to enjoy this! As I said, this is chapter one of two. The next part is already planned out, but I'd love to hear what you think so far._


	2. faster

_AN: so like can we talk about how uncomfortable ffn's new formatting makes me? I cannot stand the sight of my icon at the top of every chapter it's just, omg, really awkward?_

_right now it's mad mod so i feel like he is making a suspicious face and writing all this terrible bbrae fanfiction himself and no_

_I do not like it sam i am_

_Anyway... thanks for the reviews on the first chapter. :) I wasn't nearly as sure what I was going to do with this chapter, so the pacing is poor and it meanders a lot, but I just really wanted to kick it out there and get it over with. I'm sorry... I'm so rusty with writing, bleugh._

* * *

Beast Boy stretches and yawns before quickly recoiling his limbs and cringing against himself. Everything feels weird and wrong, he notices, squinting through the faint morning light. Not at all how he's supposed to feel after a good night's sleep. His head is pulsating with a searing sting, his back is creaking with a kink he knows will take all day to coax out, and he has this strange sense of melancholy. With his green eyes scanning the surroundings for answers, he comes to the realization that he slept on the couch, and the recollection that he had a little too much to drink yesterday.

But what else? There's another reason he feels so low that he just can't…

Oh.

Right. He kissed Raven last night.

_Oh._

This shouldn't be such a bad thing, but he fights through his hangover-induced haze and remembers that, in all likelihood, he was pretty out of it when it happened. Well, so much for waiting on Raven to make a move. And so much for the first kiss being special. On top of that, with his luck, she's probably mad at him over it now. She'll call him immature and irresponsible and give him the cold shoulder all week, he can already see it coming.

"Great. Just great," he hisses to himself, trying to massage his own headache away.

"You too, huh?" comes Robin's voice from the doorway, startling Beast Boy out of his frustrated fog. "Drink lots of water, you're probably dehydrated."

It takes Beast Boy a good ten seconds to realize his leader is talking about the hangover and not his terrible, drunken life choices. "Oh. Yeah, I will…" He sighs noisily and pushes himself up onto his feet with all the grace of a zombie. He joins his leader in the kitchen, and Robin tosses him a pain pill for the headache.

"Get this," Robin says, conversational despite his ruffled and tired appearance. "Starfire isn't even hungover in the slightest. I have a feeling Cyborg's system will flush the alcohol out, too. We're the only ones hungover, despite drinking the _least._ Sucks for us, huh?"

Beast Boy wishes he could take as much camaraderie from their mutual hangovers as Robin seems to be, but his mind is consumed with worries pertaining to Raven. He tries his best to laugh anyway. "It's not easy bein' human," he sings halfheartedly, downing the pill with the last of a pitcher of orange juice.

Robin agrees, "I'll say," and sets himself to making breakfast. Beast Boy takes this opportunity to slink off and gather his thoughts.

* * *

"He _WHAT?_" Starfire bellows way too loudly for a girl who downed as much vodka as she did, positively beaming with curiosity. Raven flinches at her friend's volume and immediately regrets her decision to divulge personal information to the chatty alien.

Originally, she wanted to peek in on Starfire and make sure that she wasn't suffering from alcohol poisoning or anything of the sort, but then as it turned out, she was sleeping in Robin's room. Which led to questions. Questions led to girl talk, and girl talk led to Raven blabbing about the scenario that had been plaguing her since last night.

"Yeah," Raven admits with a sigh, tugging at Starfire's hand. "Can we talk about this in my room? I don't like talking in Robin's room. I feel like his walls have eyes. Masked eyes. Watching and judging."

"Oh, yes, yes! Let us move."

Raven flicks her wrist, encasing them in a blackness that deposits them daintily on her bed, and she already feels more at ease after escaping Robin's prying quarters. Not a second sooner than they have touched on her sheets, Starfire is glowing with curiosity again. "Please, _do_ tell me more! Did he say that he loves you? Did he tuck your hair behind your ear? Did he utilize the 'French' technique—"

"Starfire," Raven interjects patiently, rubbing her temples. "He was drunk. And I told him to stop."

Starfire deflates so quickly that Raven almost wishes the kiss had gone better just for the Tamaranian's sake. "Oh… this is terrible. I am so sorry, Raven, I know you have waited such a long time for this to happen."

"I wouldn't call two months _that _long," Raven says with a dismissive shrug, but truly, it does feel like it's been longer than that. "I'm not upset about it, exactly. It was… nice, I guess. In a sloppy kind of way. He even stopped when I asked him to, despite how out of it he seemed."

"I see… then, what is the problem?"

"I'm not sure. It just didn't feel right. He only did it because he was drunk and I goaded him on. I feel… frustrated and guilty and disappointed all at the same time, and I just don't know what to make of that."

Starfire hums in consideration, tapping a finger against her chin. "This is merely conjecture on my part, but perhaps you are upset because you feel as though it was not truly 'Beast Boy' who made the decision to kiss you?"

Raven considers the theory. "Maybe so."

"And you are guilty because you did the goading."

"Yeah… I guess."

"So, can you not simply apologize for your provoking and engage in a normal kiss?"

Raven falters. "I… Maybe not in rapid succession, but I guess that's an option. I'm just sort of worried that he's not interested..."

Starfire takes Raven's pale, small hands into her own and flashes a smile that crinkles her bottom eyelids cutely. For a brief moment, Raven considers how lucky Robin is. "You know, Raven, it makes me truly happy to have conversations like this with you. You have become… expressive."

The empath regards this observation with a tone that nearly fluctuates. "Me? Expressive? Are you sure you're not mistaking me for someone else?"

"Relative to how quiet you used to be, I consider you to be most expressive now. I feel perhaps that Beast Boy is largely a factor. He makes you… passionate."

"Passionate…" Raven snorts. "That's a weird way of putting it."

"Oh, but it is true. Years ago, you would have never admitted to feeling guilt or disappointment or worry. They might be negative emotions, but all negative emotions correlate to positive ones, correct? I hope that you two are able to make up soon, and that he can bring you every wonderful emotion there is."

Raven's eyes close for a moment of contemplation before fluttering open again, and she gives a small nod.

Maybe talking to Starfire wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

"Cyborg, I really messed up, man."

"Uh oh, that sounds promising. Good mornin' to you too, grass stain. Not even noon yet and you're already messing stuff up?" Cyborg lifts his head from his toolkit, meeting his best friend's eyes with a sympathetic smile that shows no evidence of malice.

"Ha, ha. Well, you look kinda busy, so I'll just get to the point…" Beast Boy invites himself to a seat on the edge of Cyborg's work desk and sighs, rubbing the back of his neck for some assurance. "I thiiink I might have kissed Raven while I was drunk last night."

Playfulness quickly evacuates from Cyborg's features. "Uh oh… Did she tear you a new one for that?"

"No, actually… I haven't seen her around since last night, though. I don't remember the details too clearly, but I think she at least stopped me. Ugh, she's probably so mad now…"

The mechanical man clicks his tongue as he pops a panel on his stomach open. "Not gonna lie, BB—hand me that screwdriver real quick, will you?—that was pretty dumb."

"Don't gotta tell me twice, dude. I feel pretty sore at myself over it, too. I was holding out all this time, hoping Raven would be the one to make a move… Sometimes I feel like she's just humoring me with this relationship. It'd be nice to get some proof that that's not the case."

Cyborg doesn't even bother looking up from his manipulation of bolts and wires to reply, "You know her even better than me, and if I know Raven, I know she doesn't do _anything_ just to 'humor' people. If she weren't interested in you, you guys wouldn't be datin'."

"That… is true," Beast Boy admits. "But then why doesn't she ever _do _anything other than react to _my_ moves?"

"Girl's been repressing emotions ever since she was a kid. I don't know the details of it all too well, but old habits die hard, right? Even without her dad stomping around her mind, I'm sure it's weird for her, getting used to the freedom of emotional expression. Imagine it in reverse. Imagine that you suddenly weren't allowed to act like how you felt. It'd be hard—pass me that cord there?"

Beast Boy makes a face and hands his friend a thin cord. "Since when are you such a pro on analyzing Raven?"

"Since she helped me replace the T-Car's speakers last week and talked about this stuff herself."

"Damn. She and I need to start building things together. Why doesn't she talk to _me _about these things?" He can't help the note of indignation that tinges his words.

"This might shock you, but Raven's a girl." Cyborg chuckles quietly, being careful not to weaken his steady wrist as he continues to prod about with tools. "And some girls get embarrassed about these kinds of things. But seriously, just talk to her about it. Raven will probably stop dancin' around the issue if you're upfront."

The changeling sighs and leans back on his elbows, setting himself to the task of counting all the garage's ceiling lights. "Alright. I'll try. So what are you doin' to yourself, anyway?" He peers over at his friend's robotic innards before Cyborg screws the panel shut.

"Updating my systems. I just programmed my body to convert alcohol into energy." The man beams wickedly, and Beast Boy just stares, dumbfounded.

"Dude, are you _kidding _me? That is _so _unfair!"

* * *

Beast Boy has every intention of talking to Raven as Cyborg advised. Every intention of sitting her down and having a calm, mature heart to heart, sorting this tangled mess out. But that requires planning and brainstorming and outline making so that he can limit the number of stupid things that flow from his mouth as per what usually happens when he's put on the spot, and that kind of planning takes time.

He _didn't_ plan on bumping into her in the hallway after only five minutes of thinking, and he's not prepared for the look of mortification that immediately flickers across her face when they make eye contact. Is she really that upset to see him...?

"Oh… hey, Raven," he says lamely, for lack of a more elegant greeting.

"Hey," she returns, fidgeting with the hood of her cape as if she wants to pull it over her face. On any other day, he'd find the gesture cute. "Listen, I think we should talk."

Beast Boy tries not to pale too visibly at the sentence. There's a certain tone of finality to it that puts him on edge. He steels his nerves as best as he can in a five second period and replies, "Yeah, we should. Your room or mine?" They've made it a habit to discuss personal matters in Raven's room, but he still asks to be polite. He knows better than anyone how particular she is about her private quarters.

"Mine. Come on." She gestures for him to follow, and he obeys, trailing behind her like a puppy being led to its doghouse.

Once her door closes behind them, her hood is up and she's completely unreadable. He hates when she closes off her emotions like this, but he supposes it's a defense mechanism. It helps her to be rational.

"I'm sorry for provoking you last night," Raven begins tonelessly as she turns to face him, poised straight and proper, her hands dangling awkwardly at her sides. "If I hadn't pushed at you when you were drunk, you probably wouldn't have… you know. It was stupid of me."

Beast Boy stares at her with wide eyes. And here he thought she'd be infuriated with him… "Are you kidding? It's partly my fault too. I wasn't _completely _out of control over the things I did… I mean, I still remember everything. Most everything. Well, kinda vague, but it's there." He taps his head. "You should've told me to stop in the first place, though…"

It could be the shadow of her hood, but Beast Boy feels as though the corners of her mouth have sagged a bit. "Was it that awful?" she asks, her voice still deceptively neutral, but the slightest tremor of offense threads itself into her words.

"Huh? What are you talkin' about?" Raven doesn't answer right away, so he guesses, "Do you mean kissing you?"

Her pointed silence serves as confirmation.

"Of course not! I mean, I've only been wanting to do that since _forever_. But as usual, I've been waiting on _you_."

"On me?"

"Yes, on you! You never hug me unless I hug you first, you never flirt with me unless I flirt with you first, and I'm pretty sure I've been the one to plan all of our dates." Beast Boy can't help but express his pent-up frustration a bit, gesticulating wildly as if to burn off the emotion. "You can't exactly blame me for wondering if you're even actually interested, Raven! So I've been waiting on you to see if you'd start something yourself for once!"

Not even shadows can hide the surprise that dawns on Raven's features, her mouth hanging open a bit before it occurs to her to respond. "You think I'm not interested?"

"Sometimes, yeah!"

Her expression narrows. "So you were waiting out on our first kiss as some kind of test for my sincerity rather than just _telling _me what I was doing wrong?"

"Ye—wait. Well, it sounds bad when you say it _that_ way." Beast Boy blinks sheepishly, watching the tables turn before his very eyes.

"Meanwhile, this entire time, did it ever occur to you that I was waiting on _you _because I got used to you initiating everything, and I thought the fact that you _hadn't _kissed me yet meant that _you _were the one not interested?" Raven folds her arms in a way that's not exactly angry or sad—just a little hurt.

"Hey, that's not fair," he asserts, determined to not let all of the blame fall on his shoulders. "You were more than welcome to initiate stuff at any time."

"Then you should have told me that you didn't enjoy starting things with me."

"Don't twist it around like that! It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it's just that I didn't want to be the only one putting in effort—"

"You think I wasn't putting in effort?"

"_No_, but I mean—"

Their escalating argument is interrupted by the tower's alarms, and neither is sure whether to be annoyed or relieved. They exchange an expression of mutual acknowledgment that there's unfinished business between them, but that it will have to wait until later. Raven waves a hand and teleports them into the Ops room to receive their orders.

* * *

No one is excited to see Doctor Light on the streets again, typical in all of his inane, self-absorbed glory. Ever since his stunt in the Arctic Circle, he seems to have contented himself with lower key crimes such as bank and museum robberies. Today's target is some sort of invaluable gem that he spouts on and on over how fearsome it will make him, and the Titans, trusting him to be more bark than bite, naturally dive straight into combat without paying his words much heed.

Robin and Beast Boy step up to the plate first, as Light is still within the museum when they find him, and they have to be careful to minimize the property damage as much as possible. Beast Boy does his best in various dog forms to corral the man, as if Light were a sheep (he bleats just about as much), and Robin utilizes close combat and hand-to-hand force as best as he can. Light manages to singe the frame of some famous painting on the way out, but otherwise, the two Titans herd him onto the streets with little trouble.

Once he's out in the open, Starfire and Cyborg engage him in an all out shooting match, and, with the pressure suddenly more frantic and immediate, Light does not hesitate to go all out as well. Still grasping his pilfered prize, he pops the gem into a compartment of his gear, and whatever it was, it turns his blasts explosive. Starfire eeps loudly as one barely misses her head and combusts with a resounding boom into the building behind her. Raven snatches her out of the air in time for the second blast to miss as well.

"You can run all you want, but allow me to enlighten you!" the criminal quips, and the entire team groans in response.

Light's aim is panicked and haphazard, flailing in all directions like a bag of bang snaps colliding against the pavement, but his chaotic frenzy is still quite dangerous, and the screams of civilians increase as his shots explode every which way. Cyborg lands a well-timed shot to the villain's chest when the man's guard is elsewhere, but if possible, it only serves to startle Light into firing faster.

"He's going to hurt people in these surrounding buildings if we don't get that gem away from him," Robin informs his team with a commanding voice, arming himself with a fresh round of birdarangs. "Beast Boy! I need you to sneak up on him and get his blaster's compartment open! I'll distract him!" And with that, he flings himself back into the fray, engaging Light with a few explosions of his own. "Hey, how many Titans does it take to change a Light?"

"Wow, light puns need to stop being a thing," Beast Boy mutters to himself as he shifts into a rat, reasoning that inconspicuousness and stealth will most likely benefit him better than a larger, faster creature.

Approaching Light is like approaching a dancing cactus, as the man is still firing his weapon crazily, perhaps even more so now that he's trying to fend off Robin's progressively closer attacks. From the sidelines, the girls and Cyborg strafe him with blasts of their own, which is all good and well, but that's just more bullets for the poor, green rat to dodge. Light's yet to notice him, as he planned, but the villain's ceaseless motion does not make catching up to him a simple feat. Beast Boy cycles through several other small animals, but nothing seems to get him closer to Light.

Frustrated, the changeling shifts into a lion and pounces his prey to the ground in the hopes of snatching away the weapon, but the sneak attack startles Light into firing a blast square into the feline's chest. The light combusts, blindingly bright between the two of them, and the sheer magnitude of the resulting pain forcibly shifts Beast Boy back into his human form as his body sails through the air and skids across the rugged street surface. Light experiences similar damage, flying opposite of the street. Robin and Cyborg seize the opportunity to cuff the man and eject the gem, while Starfire and Raven fly to Beast Boy's aid.

Beast Boy can hardly see or feel anything other than a searing, white brightness and a burning in his chest, like a giant lightbulb is being pressed into him. He vaguely registers Starfire's fretful voice and Raven's fingertips brushing across his eyelids before a familiar crisp, tingling sensation floods his senses.

"Beast Boy! Can you hear me?" he can finally hear Starfire saying as the world's volume seems to slowly turn back on.

"Yeah, barely… God, what was that?" He reaches up to rub his face, but Raven gently swats his hand away.

"Don't touch. Still healing."

Beast Boy realizes that his eyes are still filled with white, but before the fears of permanent blindness really have a chance to sink in, he blinks and sees Raven's worried expression hovering over him. Spots dance in his vision like snowflakes, but gradually, they melt away.

"How's that?" she asks. A look of deep concentration is etched into her features, and her eyes are distant, as though she's peering into another world.

"Dude, I couldn't see anything for a minute there."

"Mm." Her hands move down to his chest, and he's just about to make an indignant comment about her policy restricting public displays of affection when he notices her fingers becoming stained with blood. All at once, pain hits him like a wave.

"Hold still," Starfire tells him, noticing the stricken look on his face. "Doctor Light's blast has injured you…"

Raven draws in a shaky breath and mumbles her mantra a few times, then adds, "It's like a big and major second degree burn. I'm doing what I can."

"Aw man, is it gonna leave a scar?" he complains halfheartedly, if anything just to lift the heavy mood that Starfire's sympathetic eyes are casting. The tingling of Raven's magic progresses, and with it comes a growing breath of relief.

"Please, stay quiet, Beast Boy," Starfire reprimands, placid and temperate, folding her hands together. "Raven's trying very hard to heal you. I am going to assist Robin, Cyborg, and the paramedics briefly to allow her to concentrate, so, be right back."

Beast Boy clamps his mouth shut and nods, watching Starfire retreat through still-blurry vision. In the eerie silence of abandoned streets, all he can hear is distant traffic and his own labored breathing. The city air smells like a mixture of heat and gasoline, with the slight bitter aftertaste of copper. He tries to focus on the pulsing in his ears to shift his attention away from the pain. He plays a drama queen at times for comedic effect, but Beast Boy's not stupid, and he knows that now is a time to stay still until Raven says otherwise.

He flashbacks briefly to the first time Raven ever used her healing magic on him, after the Titans' defeat at the hands of the H.I.V.E. Five. He was smaller, ganglier back then, and lacked a lot of the battle prowess he possesses now. He remembers his leg cracking against the pavement—always the pavement; it's really about time the city invest in some more cushioned means of transportation—he remembers a shout that he bit back and kept carefully in check, even as he and Raven hobbled home alone.

More clearly than the pain, though, he remembers the relief. Raven's powers do not materialize from thin air. Raven's powers, though he'll never pretend he fully understands all the intricacies of them, come from _her. _She puts a piece of herself into every spell, every levitation, every vision, premonition, and reading. Healing is no exception, and in the silence, he can almost _hear _her heart reverberating within his own as the soothing magic flows from her hands and into his mangled flesh.

That magic is stronger now, maybe. More extensive. But the overall feeling is exactly the same as it was all those years ago, and Beast Boy thinks to himself with half of a smile that now's a stupid time to be getting all nostalgic. Raven is earnestly investing herself into healing him, after all, and he probably looks pretty foolish smiling and lying on the ground, his chest exposed and bloody. He thinks, Raven doesn't really throw these powers out left and right on the battlefield because it takes such investment, so he should be grateful.

She doesn't really throw her emotions around for the same reason, either.

"Hey, Raven," he says quietly, and her features instantly harden in response. It's her way of mutely expressing, 'Shut up, I'm working here.' But he continues anyway. "Sorry about that stupid argument earlier. I don't even hardly remember what I was mad about."

"The fact that you were hungover this morning and you've just sustained a pretty sizable injury just now might have something to do with you forgetting," she drones in response, still divvying a lot of her focus towards the task at hand.

"Nah, I mean it. I'm sorry. Should've just told you what was on my mind." Beast Boy sits up with only some difficulty, despite the small sound of protest that leaves Raven's throat.

The coolness of her magic washes over him in a sudden surge, like a wave lapping at the shore, and then it trickles up and away as she lifts her hands and sits back. "I'm done. And… I'm sorry too. Clearly, emotional expression and I still don't quite see eye to eye. I'm trying, though." Her voice doesn't waver, but her expression is apologetic. "Maybe… I'm just not good enough for this. You deserve someone who's better at—"

And he kisses her, just like that. Raven's first response is to feel irritated that he's interrupting her, but that feeling is quickly replaced with other, far more pressing ones. Embarrassment that this is happening in a public place—where their friends can potentially see them, no less. Shock that he's making such an impulsive move without any prompt or forewarning. A little bit of happiness, just because he's here and he's warm and okay.

Happy or not, though, she comes to her senses and reels away, wearing a disappointingly unaffected expression. For a moment, Beast Boy's ears droop and a hurt look crosses his face, but she murmurs, "My room. After we get home," and he perks back up again. To their mutual relief, it seems their teammates have been too preoccupied with handing Doctor Light over to the paramedics and police to have noticed the display of affection.

As they approach the others, Beast Boy briskly reprimands, "Also, Rae, don't ever say you're not good enough. Okay? You're investing yourself into our relationship, whether I'm smart enough to notice or not. We're gonna get better at this communicating thing in no time."

"You'd think after how long we've been living together, we'd already be pros," Raven remarks with a playful tone.

"Baby steps, babe."

* * *

Raven locks the door, gives him a shy smile, and this time, she initiates it. And Beast Boy couldn't be happier. She leans forward and barely brushes skin against skin, but it's enough to make his heart flutter just because it's her. He reflects her shy smile, amplified a dozen times over, and he can't help but comment jokingly, "Gee, it's about _time_."

"Shut up," she replies with zero malice, tugging him in closer by the collar for another, slightly more confident, kiss. Their noses bump, and he forgets to close his eyes, and they nearly back into a dresser once they get a little more involved with their entanglement, but this is what they both wanted. Just the two of them, in all of their ungainly glory, finally verifying their feelings with something a little more substantial than flustered words.

As they break from a third kiss, Raven tugs him over to her bed, and Beast Boy eyes it warily, as if it's the edge of a cliff.

"Uh, Raven?" he manages to squeak, trying to ask The Question without actually asking The Question.

"No," she blurts immediately, a bit red in the face, understanding his concern. "I just, thought it would be more comfortable than standing. But if you don't want to—"

"It's fine! I mean, it's fine. I just want to make sure we're on the same track here, heh."

They sit together and kick off their shoes, and Raven leans over to press chaste lips against his cheek. "I appreciate the communication. Can… I take your gloves off?"

He glances down at his gloved hands for a moment before holding them out to her. She rolls them off and lays them carefully on the floor with their shoes.

"Don't gotta be so gentle, Raven, they're just gloves," Beast Boy remarks with a cheeky grin. He finds her meticulous caution rather endearing.

"We're having a civil make-out session here," she says, completely serious. "I have no intention of flinging clothes left and right like a barbarian."

He just laughs with his light, bubbly little cackle and weaves his bare fingers between hers. "I know I'm usually the noisy one, but you're talkin' too much, Rae." And he pecks her on the nose.

"Whatever." She turns her body towards him and folds her legs demurely, looking more like she's prepared to paint his nails or discuss a book rather than engage in any kind of physical intimacy. He supposes this is their first time trying something like this, and it'll get less awkward with time.

"But while we're talking," he scoots forward until their knees are touching, "I've gotta know. If you were unsure about what I wanted, how come you never just used your powers to check my emotions or thoughts or whatever?"

She blinks a few times and looks uncharacteristically sheepish. "It felt like it would be cheating. Normal couples don't have the benefit of superpowers, so I didn't want to invade your thoughts like that… Especially not without your permission. Permission's important to me. That's why I sort of freaked out about yesterday. I didn't… I didn't want to kiss you yet if I wasn't sure it was really _you._"

Even in the dimness of her unlit room, Beast Boy's green eyes manage to appear brighter than ever, if not a little misty. It occurs to her that they still might be strained from Light's attack earlier that day.

"I gotcha. Not gonna lie, I kinda prefer it if you don't go through my feelings 'n' stuff without a warning… Not that I don't trust you, but I'd hate for you to find something embarrassing." He promptly squints and bites his bottom lip as soon as the words have left his mouth, realizing how they must sound.

Raven chuckles and tiredly rests her forehead against his; the events of the day have left her drained in every sense of the word, and being able to let her barriers down around Beast Boy like this is relaxing. "Like what."

"I—I dunno." His face radiates heat onto hers. "Like, before all of this, I would have been _really _embarrassed for you to know how much I wanted to kiss you."

"Hm…" Raven's hands rest on his chest, purposely placed above the site of his burns, bracing her weight lightly as she leans forward and meets him at the mouth again. Before, she was brief and very minimal with how much contact they made, but this time, she molds her lips to fit snugly against his.

Beast Boy inhales sharply and shifts to meet her movements, and it's not as instantaneously intuitive as all the cheesy movies have led him to believe. He finds himself readjusting the angle a few times, trying to find the most comfortable position to tilt his chin at, but the small noise of approval that Raven makes at the back of her throat when he finds that perfect angle makes the effort worth it.

Neither have ever been kissed like this before, so there's a lingering moment of hesitation in deciding where to go next once that step has been mastered. Beast Boy decides to take the wheel and pulls her by the shoulders to gain leverage, the pressure between them gradually climbing its way to unbearable levels, and without thinking much about it, he brushes his tongue against her bottom lip.

Raven's eyes flutter open, and she jerks with a start that might have caused her to fall over had he not still been holding her by the shoulders.

"Sorry!" Beast Boy exclaims. "Sorry, that was stupid. Ah, geez…"

"It's fine! Stop apologizing," Her look of surprise morphs into one of mollification. "It just startled me a little."

"Oh… okay."

They stare for a moment, both obviously wanting to continue, but now feeling too sheepish to pick things up from the middle. So, back to square one. Raven slides her fingers up his chest again, and—

"_Ow!_" Beast Boy yelps and recoils away from her touch.

"Oh, Azar, your burn? I'm so sorry…" Raven grimaces, hovering her hands about like she wants to touch him consolingly but fears hurting him again. "I forgot all about it. I'm really, really sorry…"

"Hhh…" He hisses through an unsteady breath. "It's cool. I'm okay. It's just, tender… It'd be a lot worse if you hadn't healed so much of it. Thanks for that, by the way. Did I ever say thank you?"

"Whatever, don't worry about it. Can I take a look? I might be able to heal a little more now that I've had time to rest…"

Beast Boy hates the thought of derailing their moment with his injury, but Raven's creased brow and look of determination seem to suggest that she won't settle down again until she's gotten to check it, so he yields.

"Geez, Rae, already trying to get my top off?" he jokes meekly, twisting his arms around to reach for his zipper. His partner simply rolls her eyes.

He's forced to peel off his sleeves to pull the top down enough to expose the entirety of the burn, and as eager as he is to progress intimacy with Raven along, he can't help feeling overexposed. His gaze drifts to somewhere on the floor when she leans in to examine her work, and he tries not to think about how cold the air suddenly feels against his bare flesh.

"That's weird. I was able to close it up almost completely. It looks pretty well healed, even. Your pain must just be psychosomatic." She pauses, then elaborates, "In your head, that is. Your body is still expecting the injury to hurt, so you're sort of experiencing phantom pain. There's not much I can do to fix that…"

"Oh," he says, still making a point of not meeting her gaze.

"Hey. What's going on?" One of her small hands cups his cheek and turns him to face her. "Are you embarrassed?"

"Rae, I thought you said no sneak empathy!"

"I don't need empathy to make an educated guess, goof. What's up?"

"Uh. Not to be a prude or anything, but I'm kiiinda sittin' in my girlfriend's room during what's supposed to be a make-out session with my top mostly off. And as of this morning, I was pretty sure I was gonna have to wait another few months before you even thought about touching my lips again. So I'm just a little… er, mixed up in the head, I guess."

"I understand." She nods and smiles gently. "I feel the same, to some extent. Is that all, though?"

"…Are you _sure _you're not sneaking your li'l _empath beams_ into my head?"

"Let's just say your body language is_ really_ obvious. Come on, I'm not kissing you again until you spill."

"Hey, that's manipulative, Rae. I don't tell and kiss. Manipulation is unhealthy for a relationship."

"Did you read that in a teen magazine?"

"What's your point?"

Raven lets out a long-suffering sigh, folding her arms. "Beast Boy…"

"Alright, alright. I'm just… kinda self-conscious about my body." He rubs an arm, both to ward off the cool air and to burn off some nervous energy.

"Wait, _you're _self-conscious?" Raven's eyebrows lift in genuine surprise. "Beast Boy, the self-proclaimed Beast Wonder? The guy who insists that every girl in Jump City dreams about him? The guy who'd kiss his own reflection?"

"Haven't you ever heard of a defense mechanism?" he says with an embarrassed scowl. "I'm mostly over the whole 'oh no, I'm different' biz. I'd even say I like being green and having pointy ears and everything. But I don't exactly fit into our society's idea of an attractive dude, either. I'm not muscly like Cy or fit like Robin…"

His shoulders sink, and he brushes across the newly formed scar on his chest. The disappointment that ghosts his features makes Raven's chest ache in sympathy. "Heh, and now I've got this nasty mark on me, too."

She falls silent, her expression resetting to its default blankness, but there's that certain tension to her mouth she gets when she's trying to figure something out, and Beast Boy would be lying if he were to say he isn't at least a little intrigued. Her eyes flicker with thought, and then solidify with a squint of finality as she reaches some kind of conclusion. What that conclusion is, he has no inkling of, until…

Resting her palms flat against his thighs, Raven inclines herself downwards and drags cautious lips against the site of his injury. There's something measured and deliberate about the action; she's proving a point. He stares down at the top of her head, a bit dumbfounded and not entirely sure what to make of the gesture. When she lightly traces the scar with her tongue, however, an involuntary groan escapes his throat. The traces of lingering pain are bearable under the weight of pleasure.

"Rae… Raven," he breathes, feeling a blaze trailing across his cheeks. "Okay…"

Neither of them are sure what he's 'okay'ing, but whatever it is, it's got them both back in the mood. Raven recaptures his lips, and he's quick to react, eagerly progressing from where they left off. His hands roam tentatively from her collarbones to her shoulder blades, then down her sides and across her hips. After so much time spent waiting, he's not about to miss the opportunity to explore—not just because Raven is a pretty girl and she feels nice beneath his hands, but because he's never wanted anything more than to know her better. To make that private, morose, guarded girl in the corner of the room stop shying away from others. His endeavors were purely platonic in the beginning, later turning towards less familial inclinations, but at some point, he found himself wondering what it would be like to have her close like this. Let him touch her like this. Trust him like this.

He doesn't have to wonder anymore, and that's what feels best of all.

Releasing her mouth, he nestles himself in the junction between her jaw and shoulder, lightly nipping and licking at her neck. Through her increasingly flustered breathing, Raven manages to sigh, "I love you," and Beast Boy stops as if he's been shot.

Once he's defrosted enough to shakily pull back and get a look at her face, she looks just as shocked as he is, eyes ridiculously wide and hands covering her traitor of a mouth.

"What…" he rasps incoherently, so he clears his throat and repeats, "What did… I mean, do you mean that?"

Still looking absolutely stricken, Raven gives the tiniest of nods. Her gaze is out somewhere beyond Beast Boy, as if she's terrified to acknowledge his presence.

"Raven…"

"I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"Hey." He wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her close, holding her more tightly than really necessary. He just likes the reassurance that she's there. "No. It's okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's—it's great. It's what I've been wanting to hear…"

"Really?" The weakness of Raven's voice reminds him of the incident years ago when he inadvertently took a stroll through her mind and met the personification of her timidity. She sounds just like that right now—so scared and lacking in confidence. He's familiar with the feeling himself, but still hates to see his beau experiencing it.

"Yeah, really. I mean, that's why _I _was kind of freaked out about yesterday. I never doubted that you cared about me, but… love? I mean, love beyond friendship… I just wasn't sure if you felt that way about me." He rubs nervous circles into her back, both for her sake and for his. "It's just, a relief to hear."

She sniffs and replies, sounding a bit more like herself, "I wouldn't read your comics of my own free will with you if I didn't li—love you."

"Heheh." He rewards her gentle sarcasm with a squeeze and a smile. "Listen. I love you too, Raven. More than I really know how to express. All I can say is that you make my stomach flip and my mouth go dry, and I just wanna be close to you all the time. Is that… is that okay?"

She returns his smile, shyly at first, and then completely unabashed. "More than okay."

* * *

It's been four months (how many days? oh well, who's counting anyway) since they started dating, and Beast Boy has finally earned the privilege of sneaking into Raven's room at night and sleeping next to her in cat form. Granted, he usually shifts back into human form once deep sleep hits, and Raven almost always finds herself entangled with a large, decidedly non-feline specimen the next morning, but she hasn't scolded him yet.

Sometimes she'll fake sleep just to avoid the embarrassment of coming face to face with her boyfriend first thing in the morning, but a nuzzle (or a lick) tends to get her up quickly enough. And she'll eye the not-cat suspiciously but never tell him to stop or leave. So he has no plans of stopping.

The reality is, Raven likes her privacy, but she's grown to like the feeling of another pulsing heart against hers even more. Not that she'll admit to that. As for Beast Boy, he revels in how much safer it feels to curl up against another warm body. Maybe it's the pack animals in his instincts or maybe it's just how he is, but knowing that his partner is close helps him to sleep considerably better. It helps that her shampoo smells nice, too.

And sometimes, _sometimes, _if he's lucky and she's in a good mood and the planets are all in the right places and whatever, he'll get a good morning kiss.

She'll probably gripe about morning breath, and he'll gripe right back at her, but that's okay. It's all in good fun.

* * *

_AN: IT IS ALMOST THREE AM AND I AM TOO TIRED TO REWRITE ANYTHING, so there you have it. That's all for now. Thanks for reading!_


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